Friday, November 12, 2010

Getting naked at the airport

My experience and insight into airport security is far from thorough, but I thought it worth expounding on my first experience passing through airport security featuring the new full-body scanners that have been so talked about in the media.

For those who haven't heard, the TSA in the US has begun to deploy a new type of scanner at airports which takes a full x-ray style picture through the clothes, allowing them to see if you're carrying any weapons and what you look like naked. Various objections have been posed to the dick-size checker, not the least of which is the obvious lack of desire to having the crack team of high caliber individuals working at airport security seeing everyone naked. Early on, there were some assurances that no images could be kept or printed, but those were quickly dispelled when airline security at Heathrow asked an Indian celebrity to autograph his naked x-ray image, and later when some airport security workers took a picture of a co-worker in the machine during a test and then ridiculed the size of his genitals, leading him to attack them. Additionally, there are some health concerns, though depending on what you read the radiation dose is supposed to be "low" compared to medical x-rays and in general that the machine is said to be harmless. Another common theme is that this is the final straw in the already overwrought procedures to which we subject ourselves for the dubious gain in security and that we have to put our foot down. Recently a pilot working for a major airline in the US declined to go through the new machine himself and the results of his refusal are still being shaken out, though for the moment he is suspended from flying.

In response to this anticipated dissent, the TSA has said that the new scanner is optional and that if a passenger chooses, they may instead receive a pat-down, which has apparently also been upgraded. There have been a few articles about children being fondled and women and men both being excessively groped, including a journalist reporting that his pat-down was so friendly that he wanted a cigarette afterwards, but so far the procedure to the best of my knowledge has been deemed absolutely necessary for the safety of our airports and therefore continues, though today was my first direct experience with these new tools of the aiport security trade.

I am at the gate in SFO having just passed through one of these newly enhanced security checkpoints, though not with the result I expected. I saw the new scanners as I approach security, though not all of them seemed to be fully operational yet. One of them clearly was and people were being herded through it, though side by side with a metal detector. One line was being directed through the standard metal detector and the other side through the full-body scanner. I was put in the line approaching the new scanner and as I approached, I decided that I would try the pat-down first if given the option, since the full-body scanner doesn't feel quite right to me. I'm not exactly certain which part of it bothers me most, but I think fundamentally much of what is done in the airports is random and unintelligent and generally does not make us safer. I fundamentally would rather our security operate like Israel's, but that's another story.

Anyhoo, I approached and told the guy I don't want to go through the new scanner, and he said "they're both the same." They are not both the same. I removed my shoes of course, as we all do since one guy tried to set his on fire on a plane however many years ago, and then I also removed my sweater at the request of aforementioned high caliber individual. Expecting to be patted down somehow due to my refusal to go through the scanner, he instead pointed me through the metal detector through which I passed, after which I collected my things and proceeded on my way. No pat-down. I guess they are still just testing out the methodology and the sort of half-assedness of the whole process reinforced my belief, as I suppose happens everytime I pass through airport security, that nobody in a position of authority has any idea what they are doing.